Addicted
by LyG4ever
Summary: Rating for dealing with themes such as self cutting. Everybody blames Lizzie for her brother's death, and she only finds comfort in razors. Who's there to help her?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire or anything related to it. The song "Addicted" belongs to Enrique Iglesias.**

_"Have I told you how good it feels to be me"  
_16 years old Lizzie McGuire looked at her best friend David (Gordo) Gordon with tears in her eyes.

_"When I'm in you?"  
_He took the razor out of her hand and wrapped her bleeding wrist with a hand towel.

_"I can only stay clean"  
_"I'm so sorry..." she whispered. He nodded.

_"When you are around"  
_"I- I just felt those stares again..." she explained.

_"Don't let me fall"  
_"Look, no matter what anybody says, it is not your fault Matt grabbed his car and drove away that night," he said. She closed her eyes after hearing her brother's name.

_"If I close my eyes forever"  
_"It's not your fault he died," Gordo whispered. She nodded, crying.

_"Would it ease the pain?"  
_"Then why do I feel like it is?" she asked him. "Why does Miranda hate me?"

_"Could I breathe again?"  
_'Why do I do this to myself?' she asked herself.

_"Maybe I'm addicted"  
_"Miranda is stupid," he said. "She lost the boy she liked and found it better to blame it on you"

_"I'm out of control"  
_"And this," he added, rolling up her sleeves to show her arms with lots of scars. "Is because you believe them"

_"But you're the drug"  
_"Thanks, Gordo," she whispered.

_"That keeps me from dying"  
_"I don't know what I would do without you..." he nodded.

_"Maybe I'm a liar"  
_"You're the only one who talks to me now," she added.

_"But all I really know is"  
_"Your mom and dad talk to you," he said.

_"You're the only reason I'm trying"  
_"And Melina, though she was Matt's girlfriend, tries to do it too"

_"I am wasted away"  
_Her big, innocent hazel eyes looked at him. They were the only things that were left from the old Lizzie McGuire.

_"I made a million mistakes"  
_"R-Really?" she asked him. He nodded.

_"Am I too late?"  
_A stone flew across her window, shattering the glass, and fell next to her bed.

_"There is a storm in my head"  
_Lizzie cried while Gordo rushed to her window.

_"It rains on my bed"  
_"Everybody hates me because he died," she said.

_"When you are not here"  
_"You shouldn't be with me" he shook his head again.

_"I'm not afraid of dying"  
_"I don't care if I die..." she whispered.

_"But I am afraid of losing you"  
_"It would be worse losing you" he didn't hear her, trying to find who had thrown that stone.

_"Maybe I'm addicted"  
_"I don't care what other people think," he said.

_"I'm out of control"  
_"I just want you to get better"

_"But you're the drug"  
_He finally sat back on her bed and smiled at her.

_"That keeps me from dying"  
_Now, try to get some sleep," he said, walking to her door.

_"Maybe I'm a liar"  
_"Gordo..." she said. "Could you stay with me?"

_"But all I really know is"  
_He looked at her pout face and nodded.

_"You're the only reason I'm trying"  
_He got in her bed again. "G'night," he said. She kissed him on the cheek and he closed his eyes.

_"When you're lying next to me"  
_She looked at him, thinking.

_"Love is going through to me"  
_'Would it be wrong if I said I love you?' she asked herself.

_"Oh it's beautiful"  
_She continued to watch him while his chest moved up and down, following his breathing.

_"Everything is clear to me"  
_She felt herself able to smile for a moment.

_"'Till I hit reality"  
_Another stone flew across her window and she jumped. Nobody would let her be happy again.

_"And I lose it all..."  
_She got out of her bed and ran to the bath, followed by Gordo.

_"I lose it all..."  
_She grabbed another razor from there, crying.

_"I lose it all"  
_He grabbed both her hands and she looked at him, teary.

_"I lose it all..."  
_She fell to the floor and he crouched next to her, his baby-blue eyes looking at her with worry.

_"Nah nah nah"  
_She cried again and he hugged her.

_"Nah nah nah..."  
_"C'mon, Lizzie... I know you're still there," he said.

_"Nah nah nah nah nah nah..."  
_"Where's that beautiful girl I used to know and... love?"

_"Nah nah nah nah nah nah..."  
_She looked up at him again. "They won't let me be happy," she cried.

_"You're the only reason"  
_"Are you really going to throw all the progress we made away?" he asked her.

_"Yeah, you're the only reason I'm trying"  
_"Besides today, you had been fine for two months!" he remembered. "Why is this now?"

_"Oh, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying"  
_"You're leaving..." she whispered.

_"Don't want to lose it all"  
_He looked at her, surprised. "How did yo-"

_"Don't want to lose it all"  
_"I heard it, Gordo. They offered you a full scholarship in Yale"

_"I'm trying, I'm trying..."  
_"Go. That's what you always wanted," she said, forcing the tears back. "That's what will make you happy"

_"I'm trying..."  
_He looked at her. "How could I be happy..."

_"Yeah, you know I'm addicted"  
_"...if you wouldn't be there with me?" he asked her. She looked at him.

_"You know I'm addicted"  
_He opened his arms to her and she jumped in.

_"Yeah, you know I'm addicted..."  
_"I couldn't leave your side," he whispered on her ear. "I love you"

"...I love you too," she said, feeling happy for the first time since her brother's death. From the half closed door, Jo and Sam McGuire smiled at the young couple, knowing he was the only one who could make her happy.


End file.
